You often complain about the concept of an average man 'representative agent', who doesn't actually exist, because people are really different from each other.
Likewise, the trouble with these survey questions is that the embedded premise is error: there is no 'you' as a representative agent in your own life through time.
One can call this "time inconsistent preferences" or one can just say that you don't really know who you're going to be and what you're going to want in the future. This is mildly true even for simple aging, but for after one has kids (or grandchildren) it is a true discontinuity.
It's completely foolish and misguided to compare the before and after - they are fundamentally incommensurable. There is no 'you' spanning the before and after of having children. There is a new you who is born along with your child.
In Bratislava, there's a good sign: "You can't buy Happiness. But you can buy Ice Cream".
Happiness; pleasure, satisfaction, contentment; accomplishment. Kahneman (Thinking, ...) notes that we don't remember duration well, rather the start, peak, and ending.
We don't have good words and definitions about "happiness", so I don't trust any happiness survey - I'm never sure what's really being measured.
More than the decision to have kids is the choice of "who to marry; who to spend my life with". For those who want to raise kids, infertility is a huge problem. For those who don't want kids, now, an unwanted pregnancy is a big problem. I'm really happy with all 4 of our kids, and the two grandkids we welcomed this year. (Do you read about the almost 100 year old great grandma with ... 100 great grandkids? https://www.ndtv.com/offbeat/wanted-to-have-a-big-family-99-year-old-us-woman-meets-her-100th-grandchild-3259669 )
We who are generally satisfied with our morals, our life choices (& outcomes!), and especially our spouse, seem generally happier, with less depression & unhappiness, than those less satisfied (less happy? by definition?).
Kid cause one to be busy - taking care of somebody else. Studies show older folks do better when they have a pet they need to take care of. Henderson notes how helping somebody else makes one feel better, and in particular forget about being angry or in a bad mood.
Recently I've been thinking that so many people are now able to "take care of themselves", that there is an unsatisfied desire to take more care "of the whole world", especially in those not busy with their own kids. (And maybe having as pets more cats than the more-dependent dogs?)
There is also the increasing emphasis on "moral superiority", which all too often is assumed by high IQ (/SAT) folk to be about the same as intelligence, while it's very much not. He notes:
Morality is necessary for self-respect.
Self-respect is necessary for happiness.
Therefore, morality is necessary for happiness.
This is far more true than other formulations.
--
NewNeo has a multi-part set of long posts on her own change from knee-jerk Jewish Democrat Liberal, like almost her whole family and friends:
You often complain about the concept of an average man 'representative agent', who doesn't actually exist, because people are really different from each other.
Likewise, the trouble with these survey questions is that the embedded premise is error: there is no 'you' as a representative agent in your own life through time.
One can call this "time inconsistent preferences" or one can just say that you don't really know who you're going to be and what you're going to want in the future. This is mildly true even for simple aging, but for after one has kids (or grandchildren) it is a true discontinuity.
It's completely foolish and misguided to compare the before and after - they are fundamentally incommensurable. There is no 'you' spanning the before and after of having children. There is a new you who is born along with your child.
This implies that you might have to marry someone or be a fictive kin to change their mind.
In Bratislava, there's a good sign: "You can't buy Happiness. But you can buy Ice Cream".
Happiness; pleasure, satisfaction, contentment; accomplishment. Kahneman (Thinking, ...) notes that we don't remember duration well, rather the start, peak, and ending.
We don't have good words and definitions about "happiness", so I don't trust any happiness survey - I'm never sure what's really being measured.
More than the decision to have kids is the choice of "who to marry; who to spend my life with". For those who want to raise kids, infertility is a huge problem. For those who don't want kids, now, an unwanted pregnancy is a big problem. I'm really happy with all 4 of our kids, and the two grandkids we welcomed this year. (Do you read about the almost 100 year old great grandma with ... 100 great grandkids? https://www.ndtv.com/offbeat/wanted-to-have-a-big-family-99-year-old-us-woman-meets-her-100th-grandchild-3259669 )
We who are generally satisfied with our morals, our life choices (& outcomes!), and especially our spouse, seem generally happier, with less depression & unhappiness, than those less satisfied (less happy? by definition?).
Kid cause one to be busy - taking care of somebody else. Studies show older folks do better when they have a pet they need to take care of. Henderson notes how helping somebody else makes one feel better, and in particular forget about being angry or in a bad mood.
Recently I've been thinking that so many people are now able to "take care of themselves", that there is an unsatisfied desire to take more care "of the whole world", especially in those not busy with their own kids. (And maybe having as pets more cats than the more-dependent dogs?)
There is also the increasing emphasis on "moral superiority", which all too often is assumed by high IQ (/SAT) folk to be about the same as intelligence, while it's very much not. He notes:
Morality is necessary for self-respect.
Self-respect is necessary for happiness.
Therefore, morality is necessary for happiness.
This is far more true than other formulations.
--
NewNeo has a multi-part set of long posts on her own change from knee-jerk Jewish Democrat Liberal, like almost her whole family and friends:
https://www.thenewneo.com/category/a-mind-is-a-difficult-thing-to-change/
But all who look at changing minds would mostly agree with "you change someone’s mind by changing their heart."