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Adam Cassandra's avatar

From a libertarian perspective, why is the state is involved in marriage in the first place? If to protect children, surely DNA testing or other evidence of parenthood serves better. Otherwise, it seems to be an enabler (qualifier) for the welfare-warfare state or the crowding out of religion. If people want a contract, let them write one.

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luciaphile's avatar

Poor Tove K. Poor all of us.

I thought passingly of this sort of thing, the other day, when you commended as you often do, having children so that later on, you’ll have some grandchildren about.

You can’t know the future. You can’t know what you’re going to get. You can expect a measure of pain; and the one thing that being childless has going for it, is that you may live with melancholy down the line, or some loneliness, but you will be spared that acute pain that is made possible by bravely (or foolishly, I suppose, in the modern mind) having people you are related to in your life (both living with them, and losing them).

Tove K. is also a brave writer, because she agrees with a commenter who dares allude to a fact I have often noticed: there is in some ways more risk in having one or two children, than having five or eight or ten as in the past (and the present, in some places). Traditional values, which supposedly only keep women down, may have kept others “up”. Sacrifice exists no matter what path you choose.

There was more latitude for failure. There was less of an obsession, if no less sorrow, with the fortunes of each. The whole was greater than the parts - and sustained them to a greater degree.

I think this is why I’m uncomfortable with pronatalist talk. It has an airy-fairy quality. Perhaps it is too brutal, to speak the truth: we need smart and productive people to reproduce, because we need your DNA. In the current human ecosystem, this will be a total crapshoot for you personally. If all goes as well as possible, you will enjoy spending time with grandchildren in 40 years.

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