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forumposter123@protonmail.com's avatar

At the end of the day, a man judges whether a woman is interested in him based on whether she sleeps with him within the timeframe she would sleep with someone else. If she's putting out for others on the first night but wants to wait till marriage with you, then she probably isn't that into you. And for the most part people will assume that a woman is acting the way people in her social circle act.

So the norms of your social circle matter a lot. The norms of a lot of social circles these days is "sex right away". If you're in that social circle it's pointless trying to defect from that norm, you need a new social circle.

When I was part of a young adult Catholic group the norms were for delayed sexual relations and dating with intention for marriage. Not everyone you dated had to end in marriage but there wasn't to be any hooking up. It worked really well, almost anyone in that group was married within five years and for those that joined right out of college they were married younger than average.

Of course being a part of that group meant accepting certain principle and making certain sacrifices. If you're at Adoration all night Friday night you aren't out at the bars. All these rituals and time commitments show that you are serious about these values, not just signaling them while you still play the game.

I just don't see most people willing to make the sacrifice today. We would need to increase the value of getting married young and having a big family and decrease the value of being single to change the economics guiding those decisions.

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Roger Sweeny's avatar

"Vivek claims to be in third place in the race for the Republican Presidential nomination. For that matter, he probably could start an operating system for smart phones in the United States to compete with IOS and Android, pick up a few thousand users, and then say “Looky looky! We’re in third place!”"

Oh, Arnold, that's cold--and brilliant.

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