Gay Rights and Wrongs, 8/10
Can we shame promiscuity?
Because men are more sexually promiscuous on average than women, the gay social scene lends itself to a relatively rapid dissemination of sexually transmitted diseases.
Because the virus can spread non-sexually and because some men who have sex with men also have sex with women, if enough gay men are infected, the virus will almost certainly spread to many women and straight men as well.
Surveying his own readers, Richard Hanania writes,
Gay men of course have the most number of sexual partners, with 69% having had at least 10, and 54% having had 20 or more.
Gay marriage implies sexual exclusivity. There are monogamous gay men, and they are the ones who benefit from legalized gay marriage. But many gay men are anything but monogamous, and sexual exclusivity does nothing for them at all.
Suppose it is correct that high promiscuity is a driver of sexually-transmitted diseases. Can social norms adjust to reflect this, or are we stuck with “gay men are persecuted, so we cannot criticize their behavior in any way”?
The social norm in the 1950s was to condemn the homosexual man, wink at the promiscuous heterosexual man, and shame the promiscuous heterosexual woman. A couple of decades later we were exalting the promiscuous heterosexual woman, and now some people are questioning the effect of this.
I don’t think that we should either shame or praise promiscuity in women. But we should have a norm to criticize promiscuity in males, either heterosexual or homosexual. We should be willing to discourage behavior that helps to spread STDs.
"Gay marriage implies sexual exclusivity. There are monogamous gay men, and they are the ones who benefit from legalized gay marriage."
Prominent gay marriage advocate Andrew Sullivan is openly not monogamous, and himself has AIDS. He's openly anti-condom as well.
His view seems to be the norm. Most married gays are not monogamous.
To us straights, monogamy and marriage are synonymous. If it's not monogamous, it's not a marriage. Though people cheat, it's considered a breach of contract, not part of the arrangement.
There was a feeling that gay marriage would normalize gay relationships, but instead I think it prompts making straight relationships more gay.
"I don’t think that we should either shame or praise promiscuity in women. But we should have a norm to criticize promiscuity in males, either heterosexual or homosexual."
Augustus tried to shame bachelors too. It's difficult to control male promiscuity because male promiscuity is attractive to women. If you tried to shame a man for bedding a bunch of women, it would just help him bed more.
If you want to control sexuality, you control the females. That's the natural choke point on sexual activity. And female promiscuity is not attractive to males.
There is a strange reluctance to offer negative criticism to women. If you're not willing to slut shame, you're not willing to get serious about promiscuity.
"Many were increasingly of the opinion that they’d all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans." - Douglas Adams